I was in your boat at one time. The elders were fairly aggressive with trying to meet with me in person once they realized I was fading, fortunately I was able to dodge their attempts. But, even to this day, if they were to find me, like yourself, I wouldnt be able to hold back what I feel about the organization. I wouldnt be able to lie about it that's for sure and they won't like what i have to say. Whatever happens, happens. Good luck!
While my parents were still alive I did not want to stir up anything then but if they ever try to talk to me now I really don't care as I would tell them what I think of their organization.